Jonathan's Quilt

      There once was a time I just knew I could not survive the loss of my child. Then, I lost my child. My heart kept beating, my lungs kept breathing, the sun rose and set. My other daughters still needed me; grandchildren arrived and let me know that the child I lost is born again and again and again. 
      In addition to my family, making quilts has become my life raft. I'm learning a whole new world. Fabrics and designers and patterns; sewing machines, quilting machines, notions, and techniques abound. New individuals have come into my life sharing their knowledge and love of the quilting process.  I've made 35 quilts in the past year!

                                   
                                                             

The quilt with the brown and red sashing is a t-shirt quilt I made for my grandson, Holden. It has t-shirts from his aunties, gran and grandad, and his mom and dad. 
        One of the blessings that came from the most horrible loss was meeting Donna. She lost her son, Jonathan, only months after I lost Annie. Both of our children committed suicide. For the past three years we've shared tears and books and hopes and prayers. Each year when Donna visits her sister in Texas, she goes out of her way to visit me, too. On our first visit, we stayed up all night and ate ice cream sundaes and looked at pictures of our kids. On her last visit, she surprised me with my biggest quilting challenge, and honor, to date. She brought all of Jonathan's t-shirts and work shirts to see if I would make a quilt out of them for her. I was surprised, sad, and excited. Touching each of them made me feel as if I was touching Jonathan. Donna and I often say that Jonathan and Annie are together, getting us together down here to find the joy they now have. 
          It's amazing how each shirt is a story. I'm going slowly on this project; I don't want to mess it up--it's too important. I took the shirts to my quilting teacher to have guidance (a pep talk) to be sure I was proceeding correctly. I was doing fine. I would fold them, arrange them, take pictures of them. But no matter how long I put it off, I knew I'd have to cut into them, sooner or later. When I cut the first of Jonathan's shirts, I cried. Not because I was afraid of the job ahead; actually, I feel quite confident of how it will turn out. I cried because I miss him, too. Just like I miss Annie. I have met him through his shirts and I miss him.

                                           

                                                         

  Jonathan's quilt...another true labor of love. 

For Donna, Jonathan, and Annie,
Mwah!